Wednesday, March 31, 2010

God speaking

Today I was having a conversation with a friend and I felt a sudden pull in my heart and knew that I had to speak.

I immediately started asking my friend about her prayers and if she had prayed about what we were talking about. I could feel God pulling to my heart to speak. So I just started speaking from the heart. God led my words. It was if I wasn't even speaking them anymore. God was speaking through me.

It has been years since this has happened and it felt so great. It was a wonderful feeling knowing that God was helping me help my friend.

There are so many times that we go through life thinking that we have to be everything to everyone. I have found myself trying to be super-Mom, super-Wife, super-Photographer, super-Friend and struggling with the inability to do them all. Then I remember that I am no alone. I can turn my worries over to God and HE will show me the right path.

I don't want to get super religious about this, but I will tell you that there is a peace to throwing up your hands, admitting you can't do it all and asking for help from God. In those moments, I remember that God is always waiting in the wings to be called into my life.

I just have to take the first step and invite him in!

Thursday, March 25, 2010's about me!

This blog has primarily been about my work, my clients and my family.

But's about me!

You are going to see some changes in this blog. You are going to hear more of my thoughts. You are going to share in my journey through this life to be who I want to be.

Today, I had an epiphany standing at my kitchen sink doing dishes. 3 minutes before, I was on the couch, waiting for my lunch to finish cooking and watching "The Biggest Loser" on my DVR.

I have fibromyalgia. For those who don't know, this condition causes me to have pain throughout my body, extreme exhaustion and depression. I am currently treating my condition in several ways. I am on medication, I am eating healthier and I am exercising.

But today...was just one of those days. I woke up this morning exhausted. I have been shuffling around my house..exhausted. I was almost too tired to make myself some lunch.

But sitting on my couch, I made a decision to get up, unload my dishwasher and load it back up because my kitchen sink was completely full of dishes. This is a very routine task. Thousands of people aren't even lucky enough to have a dishwasher and yet I let dishes sit in my sink because I was too tired to unload and load the dishwasher.

For most of my life, I have thought to myself "You are just lazy. You could do more, but you choose not to." Then I realized that my "laziness" isn't really laziness. I truly have a medical condition that causes me to feel tired 24/7.

But standing at my kitchen sink today, I had an epiphany. I started talking to myself in my head. (No, I'm not crazy...but being an only child, I have been known to talk to myself quite a bit! LOL) And I said the following to myself.

You can do this. You can unload the dishwasher and load it back up.
You are capable of doing so much more than you think.
You deserve to have the life that you want.
You have fibromyalgia....but fibromyalgia DOESN'T HAVE YOU!

You have fibromyalgia...but fibromyalgia doesn't have you.

You have fibromyalgia...but fibromyalgia doesn't have you.

I must have repeated that phrase to myself at least 20 times while I was doing the dishes. And in that moment, I made a choice. I am choosing to continue saying this to myself until I believe it 100%. I am choosing to overcome how I feel and do what I need to do to have the life that I want. I am choosing to not let my condition dictate who I will become.

I have fibromyalgia...but fibromyalgia doesn't have me!

Anyone who might be reading this, I hope you understand the change this blog is about to take. I am going to open up more. Share my triumphs. Share my failures. Share ME!

This is my time. My time to become the person that I want to be. And the wonderful part is...I get to figure out who that is on the journey!