Today....it's about me!

This blog has primarily been about my work, my clients and my family.

But today....it's about me!

You are going to see some changes in this blog. You are going to hear more of my thoughts. You are going to share in my journey through this life to be who I want to be.

Today, I had an epiphany standing at my kitchen sink doing dishes. 3 minutes before, I was on the couch, waiting for my lunch to finish cooking and watching "The Biggest Loser" on my DVR.

I have fibromyalgia. For those who don't know, this condition causes me to have pain throughout my body, extreme exhaustion and depression. I am currently treating my condition in several ways. I am on medication, I am eating healthier and I am exercising.

But today...was just one of those days. I woke up this morning exhausted. I have been shuffling around my house..exhausted. I was almost too tired to make myself some lunch.

But sitting on my couch, I made a decision to get up, unload my dishwasher and load it back up because my kitchen sink was completely full of dishes. This is a very routine task. Thousands of people aren't even lucky enough to have a dishwasher and yet I let dishes sit in my sink because I was too tired to unload and load the dishwasher.

For most of my life, I have thought to myself "You are just lazy. You could do more, but you choose not to." Then I realized that my "laziness" isn't really laziness. I truly have a medical condition that causes me to feel tired 24/7.

But standing at my kitchen sink today, I had an epiphany. I started talking to myself in my head. (No, I'm not crazy...but being an only child, I have been known to talk to myself quite a bit! LOL) And I said the following to myself.

You can do this. You can unload the dishwasher and load it back up.
You are capable of doing so much more than you think.
You deserve to have the life that you want.
You have fibromyalgia....but fibromyalgia DOESN'T HAVE YOU!

You have fibromyalgia...but fibromyalgia doesn't have you.

You have fibromyalgia...but fibromyalgia doesn't have you.

I must have repeated that phrase to myself at least 20 times while I was doing the dishes. And in that moment, I made a choice. I am choosing to continue saying this to myself until I believe it 100%. I am choosing to overcome how I feel and do what I need to do to have the life that I want. I am choosing to not let my condition dictate who I will become.

I have fibromyalgia...but fibromyalgia doesn't have me!

Anyone who might be reading this, I hope you understand the change this blog is about to take. I am going to open up more. Share my triumphs. Share my failures. Share ME!

This is my time. My time to become the person that I want to be. And the wonderful part is...I get to figure out who that is on the journey!

The Smiths Go Camping!

After 2 months of weddings every weekend, we finally come to a weekend where we have no weddings to shoot. So the only logical thing to do is....Go Camping!

We left on Wednesday night for East Harbor State Park in Lakeside-Marblehead, OH. It was great to get away for a few days and just get to be a family. As we pulled into camp, it was sprinkling and I was worried that it was going to rain the entire weekend. But setting up the tent in the rain wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

It rained all night Wednesday night and had continued to be rainy on Thursday morning, so we decided to go to Train-o-rama, the largest indoor setup of model trains in Ohio. The boys loved it. They ran around the displays trying to take it all in. Christian would get down to the level of the trains to watch them closely.

When we left train-o-rama, we decided to drive down to Marblehead to see the lighthouse. The Marblehead Lighthouse is the oldest continuously operating lighthouse on the Great Lakes. We bought tickets for the tour that would allow us to go up to the top, but we had about 15 minutes to kill.

The boys wanted to wander closer to Lake Erie, so we went past the lighthouse to a group of flat rocks. The waves were crashing up onto the rocks and Ian loved letting it roll over his feet.

Christian...not so much! LOL

After a speech about the lighthouse by a volunteer, we climbed the 70+ steps in a spiral up to the catwalk on the lighthouse. Shan was quite nervous since he is afraid of heights and Christian only wanted to run around the top!

Thursday night ended up being a decent night for a campfire, so we hung out around it for awhile. The boys toasted corn dogs and made s'mores. Before too long though, a very large storm cell began to pass over our campsite. There was a lot of thunder and lightning. Ian was nervous...but we reassured him that we were fine. For the rest of the evening, we hung out in the tent. The boys played with a leap pad, tag books and Christian's Thomas the Train Laptop. Shan and I played some 2 man Euchre. (He won!)

Friday's weather looked like it was going to be fantastic, so we packed a lunch and loaded up on the boat. We sailed out of East Harbor and out into Lake Erie. Ian got to "drive" for a bit.

After sailing east along the coastline so that we could see Lakeside from the water, we decided to sail out toward Kelley's Island. The sail was actually quite easy and we made it over there in about an hour. From there, we decided to sail over to Put-in-Bay. Along that stretch of water, both boys went to sleep for a bit. (We had to use a bungee cord to keep Christian from rolling off the seat! Don't worry...I sat there with him the whole time too.)

We decided to run ashore on South Bass Island so that the boys could get out and stretch for a bit. They threw rocks into the lake and Shan was teaching Ian how to skip rocks.

After a brief forray with a tree while trying to get of the island, we were off again and we sailed back to East Harbor. The lake was a bit choppier on the way back, but still a pretty easy sail. I even "drove" for awhile.

That evening, we went over to Lakeside to visit some of my old friends at Lakeside Institute. It was great to be back at Lakeside. It was wonderful to see everyone. We had dinner at Sloopy's and then got some ice cream from the Patio and walked down on the dock.

It rained again through the night and was still a bit rainy on Saturday morning. Luckily, the boys were so worn out from our day on the lake on Friday, that they slept in very late on Saturday. By the time we were ready to go do stuff, the weather was beautiful.

We decided to go to the beach on Saturday. Ian really wanted to fish, so all the men got their fishing poles out and fished just East of the swimming beach. (Don't worry...Christian only has a weight on his pole...no hook! LOL)

Within minutes, Ian had caught a Big Mouth Bass. He was so proud and so excited.

Shan caught one after that and then Ian caught another one!

The boys really enjoyed the beach. It was extremely shallow in the swimming area. Even Christian could walk out about 30 feet before it was up to his waist. Shan helped Ian build a wall in the sand and he and Christian had made a "tower". I took a self portrait since I am rarely in any images on our vacations! LOL

The weather was still nice into the evening, so we picked up some more firewood and had another campfire. Some of the logs needed to be cut, so Ian worked like a true pioneer and sawed some of the wood with the camp saw.

Sunday morning we got up and had breakfast and then prepared to pack up camp and head home. Unfortunately, I forgot to turn off my camera on Saturday night and the battery died. So the only picture we have of the whole family at the campsite is from my camera phone...and it isn't great. But it will have to do.

The vacation was fantastic. I am so glad that were able to get away and recharge for a bit. It was great being away from the computers! And Shan was pretty proud of how I held up with camping in the rain. (This was only the 2nd year in my life that I have camped in a tent!)

This is definitely one family tradition that I will continue for many years!

Happy Birthday to Me!

I turned 32 on Friday!

I had a wonderful birthday. On Friday, my Grandma had gotten me a cake, so we had some at midnight when I finished work and went to pick up the boys. My parents had also sent me flowers and I am going to get a deep freezer from them for my birthday! WOOHOO! I also had 41 friends wish me a Happy Birthday on Facebook!

Saturday, Shan and Ian made me yellow cupcakes with no icing (not a big icing fan). Ian also made me a princess hat since I was the Birthday Princess. I got to take a long bath and watch some of my favorite shows on my DVR uninterrupted. Then Shan and the boys took me to dinner with our friends Chris, Deb and their children at Red Robin. We had a very nice dinner and it was a very nice birthday! Shan bought me a beautiful card and a book and Ian made me a card!

Last night, I got to go out to dinner with some of my girlfriends and they surprised me with more birthday gifts. Dana made me yellow cake cookies (Did you know you can make cookies out of cake mix?!? I didn't until last night!), Stacy bought me flowers and Karol baked me heart shaped brownies! We spent 3 hours at dinner just chatting and enjoying a girls night out. They are such good friends and I was so appreciative.

It was a wonderful birthday! I have wonderful friends and family! I love you all!

Lift with your Legs!!!

Just a PSA to remind everyone that when lifting heavy objects....Lift With Your Legs!

As we were leaving Indiana to come home, I was getting a blanket out of the back of the van for Ian when Shan's camera bag rolled out of the back and onto the ground. The ground was wet and I wasn't thinking clearly.

I bent over and heaved Shan's bag (which weighs around 50-60 lbs) to get it back up into the van and in the process, I injured my back. I didn't lift properly and I was in a lot of pain.

After 2 weeks, x-rays, Vicodin, Norflex and a lot of Advil, I was feeling better. It still twinges sometimes, but it is much better than it was a month ago.

So remember, if you are going to lift something heavy....Lift With Your Legs!

Carnival!!!!

Well, it must be summer because the carnival was in town last weekend! LOL Nothing like rip-off games, overpriced rides and artery-clogging carnival food to kickstart summer!

All joking aside...we did have a great time. Christian is still too little to ride the rides, but he really enjoyed seeing everything and he loved the fireworks display.

Ian is just a hair (like 1/2") too little to ride some of the kiddie rides alone, but he had fun nonetheless. He was all about the rides and the games!

Here are just a few pictures from our point and shoot camera.

Ian's favorite "ride". The fun house. Which his ride arm band wasn't good for, so it cost more. And he sped through it like he was being chased by a lion! LOL I don't think he enjoyed any of the fun parts in the "fun" house.



Here is Ian on the Crazy Bus. He liked this ride!

Ian and I rode the big ferris wheel together. He definitely doesn't have any fears of heights! LOL He liked to turn around to look behind us which rocked the car and made me nervous! LOL He is so thin that he could climb out of the safety bar. So I had a death grip on his leg!


Here is Christian enjoying a "ride" in the stroller! LOL He is actually showing me how big he is. And looking at these pictures....he looks it! (Don't mind that his face and clothes are covered in food. LOL He was enjoying a funnel cake with me!)


Christian tends to be a very somber kid when the camera is around...so this is a rare look at his smile on camera!


Ian and Daddy (Shan).


Christian and Mommy (Steph)


A couple of the fireworks. Not bad for handheld!



Here is Ian riding the little ferris wheel by himself!


The carnival is gone now and Ian is already asking when it will be back in town. The answer...next year buddy!

Steph