Moral of the Story: Don't Trust a 3 year old!

*DISCLAIMER: If you are not a parent or if you are squeamish about personal hygiene details, STOP READING HERE!*
















So you decided to keep reading, well, continue at your own risk!









Mistake #1: Eating McDonalds last night after we were done sailing.

Why was this a mistake? I have been following Weight Watchers for over 4 weeks now, so my body is no longer used to fast food. Eating those 5 chicken nuggets and 2 french fries did a number on my digestive system.

Mistake #2: Not checking to see how much toilet paper was on the roll before sitting down.

I am sure we have all done this before. If you are lucky, you will have a box of tissues on the back of your toilet to rescue yourself in such a situation. I was not that lucky.

Mistake #3: Thinking to myself, Christian (my 3 1/2 year old) could get me some toilet paper from the bag in the hall upstairs.

It was in plain view. It was easy to find. I thought this would be a simple process. This was my biggest mistake!


So here I was, stranded in my 1/2 bath downstairs with only the 3 1/2 year old to help me. And the following is the dialog that ensued.

Me: Christian...can you go upstairs and get Mommy a roll of toilet paper from the hall?

Christian: Of Course!

**Little footsteps climbing the stairs.**

Christian: I got you toilet paper Mommy!

**Little footsteps coming down the stairs**

Christian: Here Mommy!

**Hands me a very small handful of toilet paper...clearly not enough to help me much**

Me: Thanks Christian!

Christian: You're welcome!

Me: But Mommy needs a WHOLE ROLL of toilet paper. (Knowing that he is very likely to bring me a very small amount again)

Christian: Okay!

**2 minutes of silence**

Me: Christian?

Christian: WHAT?

Me: Are you getting Mommy the toilet paper?

Christian: I AM!

**2 minutes of silence**

Me: Christian?

Christian: WHAT?

Me: Get Mommy the toilet paper, Please!

Christian: I AM!

**2 minutes of silence**

Me: Christian?

Christian: WHAT?

Me: Get Mommy the toilet paper NOW PLEASE!

Christian: I AM!

**2 minutes of silence**

Me: Christian?!?

Christian: WHAT?

Me: What are you doing?!?!

Christian: Watching Team Umizoomi.

Me: Please go get Mommy a roll of toilet paper Now!!

Christian: O-K-A-Y!!! (in a very exasperated tone!)

**1 minute of silence**

Me: CHRISTIAN!!

Christian: WHAT?!?!

Me: Do you want a time out?

Christian: NO!

Me: Then, PLEASE, go get Mommy a roll of toilet paper!

Christian: O-K-A-Y!!! (in the same exasperated tone!)

**Little footsteps climbing the stairs**

**Little footsteps coming down the stairs**

Christian: Here Mommy....I got you toilet paper.

**Hands me a tiny corner of a square of toilet paper...almost microscopic!**

Me (as patiently as I can at this point, although my legs are DEFINITELY asleep now!): Christian...that isn't enough for Mommy. Can you please get me a whole roll of toilet paper? (I even show him the empty roll so that he can get the idea of what I am wanting.)

Christian: Of Course!

**Little Footsteps climbing the stairs**

At this point, I think that we have finally made progress and I will be rescued from my porcelain prison!

**2 minutes of silence**

Me: Christian?

Christian (in a very distant voice): WHAT?

Me: Are you bringing Mommy a roll of toilet paper?

Christian (in the same distant voice): WHAT?!?! (very confused sounding...apparently he got distracted by a toy upstairs and completely forgot why I sent him up there.)

Me: Bring Mommy a roll of toilet paper from the bag in the hallway PLEASE!

Christian: Okay!

**2 minutes of silence**

Me: Christian?!? (losing patience now as my legs are completely asleep, my bottom is freezing cold and I really want to get out of this situation)

Christian: What?!?

Me: Are you bringing me the toilet paper?

Christian: Yeah!

**1 minute of silence** (My patience is wearing very thin, so my responses are getting closer and closer together!)

Me: CHRISTIAN!!!!

Christian: WHAT!?!?!

Me: BRING ME THE TOILET PAPER NOW!!!!

Christian: O-K-A-Y!!! (very exasperated. I apparently am disturbing him at this point!)

**Little footsteps coming back down the stairs**

This time, he brings me 1 square of toilet paper. I attempt to use this 1 solitary sheet to rescue me, but it just isn't enough. Christian in the meantime, has left me in the powder room and gone back to the living room.

Me: Christian? (using a more polite voice)

Christian: What?

Me: Can you please go get Mommy the whole bag of toilet paper?

Christian: In just a minute.

Me: What are you doing?

Christian: Playing Wii Fit Plus!

Me: STOP PLAYING GAMES AND GO GET ME THE TOILET PAPER!!!

Christian: When I'm finished!!

(Seriously contemplating losing my cool at this point...but I choose not to, knowing that if I alienate my 1 ally in this situation, I am not going to be happy!)

Me: Christian (actual PLEADING in my voice now)...can you please bring me the bag of toilet paper? My bottom is starting to hurt!

Christian: Okay.

**Little footsteps climbing the stairs**

**1 minute of silence**

Me: Christian?

**No response**

Me: Christian?

**No response**

I lean forward as much as I can and push the door open (because of course he had to close it on me the last time he left.)

Me: Christian?

**No response**

I am starting to think that he is no longer my ally, but my enemy. I think he is enjoying my captivity and secretly laughing that I am under his control now!

Having listened to me yelling from the bathroom for the past 2 minutes, PJ, my cat, gets curious and comes in. He could care less that I am stranded in the bathroom, he just wants attention. I use him as a distraction to my predicament and pet him like he wants.

After waiting for 2 minutes, I call out again.

Me: Christian?

Christian (distant, muffled sound): Wha?

Me: Are you bringing me the bag of toilet paper from the hall?

Christian (closer, but still muffled sound): Ohay.

Trying to figure out why his words are so muffled, I can only figure that he had gotten a snack from somewhere in Ian's bedroom. I remembered seeing a single bag of goldfish in there yesterday. Apparently, my situation wasn't so desperate to him that taking time for a snack was fine.

Me: PLEASE BRING MOMMY THE TOILET PAPER!!

Christian (voice restored to previous level): O-K-A-Y! (in that same exasperated voice!)

I am now leaning over as far as I can to peer out the door, hoping that my toddling savior would be showing his little face soon.

PJ, the cat, decided that my flat back would be a lovely place to lay down right about now. So now I am stuck, leaning over with my belly flat on my thighs and a cat on my back, purring happily.

Me: CHRISTIAN!

Christian: WHAT?!?

Me: Bring me the bag of toilet paper.

**Sound of the toilet lid upstairs going up**

**1 minute of silence**

**Sound of the toilet lid going down and the toilet flushing upstairs**

Christian: Mommy...I went pee-pee!

Me: That's Great! Now bring me the bag of toilet paper.

Christian: What?!? (in the same confused voice)

Me: Bring...Mommy...the...bag...of...toilet...paper!

Christian: Okay!! (exasperated voice)

**Little footsteps coming down the stairs**

Christian: I got you the toilet paper.

Me: Did you bring the bag of toilet paper?

Christian: YEAH!

PJ, mercifully, has moved off my back and into the sink basin and is now laying there staring at me as I am patiently waiting my release.

Christian appears at the bathroom door, with a handful of toilet paper.

Me: That isn't the bag, but it will do!

Christian: I want a grape! (He gets a grape when he goes pee-pee in the potty.)

I free myself from my porcelain prison, flush, wash my hand and legs fully asleep now, hobble my way into the kitchen to get him a grape.

**10 minutes later**

Christian (from the 1/2 bath): Mommy, I went pee-pee. I need the toilet paper!

Me: In a minute!

Laughing silently to myself...I think about the fact that he left me sitting there for over 40 minutes and then go upstairs to get him a roll of toilet paper.

So the moral of this story....Don't Trust a 3 year old!

Happy 3rd Birthday Christian!

I can't believe that Christian is 3 years old! It is wonderful and sad to see him so grown up sometimes. We had an absolutely perfect Sunday for his party. The weather was wonderful and my Aunt, Uncle and Grandma opened their house and yard for us to have the party at.

Each year, I try to honor the kids passions with the theme of their party. This year was Christian's Thomas the Tank Engine year. His favorite part was his singing Thomas balloon.

He liked his cake, half heartedly opened his presents and enjoyed playing with his family. Of course, being a photography family, Christian got his first camera this year and immediately started walking around and demanding that people "Say Cheese". Which is really funny to us because we never tried to get him to say Cheese for the camera. LOL He also spent a little time in Grandma's slippers wandering around the yard. LOL

He also really liked spending more time with his Mawmaw and Pawpaw. And playing on the teeter totter with his Daddy and Opa. And his new friend, a hand puppet monkey that he has appropriately named Curious George.

Happy 3rd Birthday Big Boy! Mommy loves you so much!

The Smiths take on Cedar Point!

Ian had been begging to go to Cedar Point all summer, so the last Sunday before he went back to school, we went. The boys had such a great time. Christian even enjoyed most of the rides this time. He rode his first roller coaster, Woodstock Express, but I don't think he really enjoyed it too much. Ian and Christian both loved the bumper cars. Excuse the quality of the photos...I only took my point and shoot camera that day so they aren't as good as I could have gotten with my big camera. But I didn't feel like lugging the big camera around. I just wanted to enjoy the day! By the end of the day, Christian was evening putting a hand up!

Kentucky Bound!

Since Joe and Jenny's wedding was on a Friday, we were able to take off for the rest of the weekend to Kentucky to visit Shan's family.

Ian got to celebrate his birthday with Mawmaw and Pawpaw and we got to spend some down time swimming in their pool. Ian got a very cool 7 ft tall water rocked and we had a blast (no pun intended! LOL) shooting it off!

Ian finally conquered his fear of jumping off the diving board and we could barely keep Christian out of the pool.

They also both slept in the same big bed for the first time ever. I didn't think they would actually sleep, but they did great and they were so cute in the morning that I had to take their picture.

As an added bonus for us...the boys ended up staying with Mawmaw and Pawpaw the rest of that week. Shan and I really enjoyed the break from being parents and the boys really enjoyed their alone time with Mawmaw and Pawpaw!

The Smiths Go Camping!

After 2 months of weddings every weekend, we finally come to a weekend where we have no weddings to shoot. So the only logical thing to do is....Go Camping!

We left on Wednesday night for East Harbor State Park in Lakeside-Marblehead, OH. It was great to get away for a few days and just get to be a family. As we pulled into camp, it was sprinkling and I was worried that it was going to rain the entire weekend. But setting up the tent in the rain wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

It rained all night Wednesday night and had continued to be rainy on Thursday morning, so we decided to go to Train-o-rama, the largest indoor setup of model trains in Ohio. The boys loved it. They ran around the displays trying to take it all in. Christian would get down to the level of the trains to watch them closely.

When we left train-o-rama, we decided to drive down to Marblehead to see the lighthouse. The Marblehead Lighthouse is the oldest continuously operating lighthouse on the Great Lakes. We bought tickets for the tour that would allow us to go up to the top, but we had about 15 minutes to kill.

The boys wanted to wander closer to Lake Erie, so we went past the lighthouse to a group of flat rocks. The waves were crashing up onto the rocks and Ian loved letting it roll over his feet.

Christian...not so much! LOL

After a speech about the lighthouse by a volunteer, we climbed the 70+ steps in a spiral up to the catwalk on the lighthouse. Shan was quite nervous since he is afraid of heights and Christian only wanted to run around the top!

Thursday night ended up being a decent night for a campfire, so we hung out around it for awhile. The boys toasted corn dogs and made s'mores. Before too long though, a very large storm cell began to pass over our campsite. There was a lot of thunder and lightning. Ian was nervous...but we reassured him that we were fine. For the rest of the evening, we hung out in the tent. The boys played with a leap pad, tag books and Christian's Thomas the Train Laptop. Shan and I played some 2 man Euchre. (He won!)

Friday's weather looked like it was going to be fantastic, so we packed a lunch and loaded up on the boat. We sailed out of East Harbor and out into Lake Erie. Ian got to "drive" for a bit.

After sailing east along the coastline so that we could see Lakeside from the water, we decided to sail out toward Kelley's Island. The sail was actually quite easy and we made it over there in about an hour. From there, we decided to sail over to Put-in-Bay. Along that stretch of water, both boys went to sleep for a bit. (We had to use a bungee cord to keep Christian from rolling off the seat! Don't worry...I sat there with him the whole time too.)

We decided to run ashore on South Bass Island so that the boys could get out and stretch for a bit. They threw rocks into the lake and Shan was teaching Ian how to skip rocks.

After a brief forray with a tree while trying to get of the island, we were off again and we sailed back to East Harbor. The lake was a bit choppier on the way back, but still a pretty easy sail. I even "drove" for awhile.

That evening, we went over to Lakeside to visit some of my old friends at Lakeside Institute. It was great to be back at Lakeside. It was wonderful to see everyone. We had dinner at Sloopy's and then got some ice cream from the Patio and walked down on the dock.

It rained again through the night and was still a bit rainy on Saturday morning. Luckily, the boys were so worn out from our day on the lake on Friday, that they slept in very late on Saturday. By the time we were ready to go do stuff, the weather was beautiful.

We decided to go to the beach on Saturday. Ian really wanted to fish, so all the men got their fishing poles out and fished just East of the swimming beach. (Don't worry...Christian only has a weight on his pole...no hook! LOL)

Within minutes, Ian had caught a Big Mouth Bass. He was so proud and so excited.

Shan caught one after that and then Ian caught another one!

The boys really enjoyed the beach. It was extremely shallow in the swimming area. Even Christian could walk out about 30 feet before it was up to his waist. Shan helped Ian build a wall in the sand and he and Christian had made a "tower". I took a self portrait since I am rarely in any images on our vacations! LOL

The weather was still nice into the evening, so we picked up some more firewood and had another campfire. Some of the logs needed to be cut, so Ian worked like a true pioneer and sawed some of the wood with the camp saw.

Sunday morning we got up and had breakfast and then prepared to pack up camp and head home. Unfortunately, I forgot to turn off my camera on Saturday night and the battery died. So the only picture we have of the whole family at the campsite is from my camera phone...and it isn't great. But it will have to do.

The vacation was fantastic. I am so glad that were able to get away and recharge for a bit. It was great being away from the computers! And Shan was pretty proud of how I held up with camping in the rain. (This was only the 2nd year in my life that I have camped in a tent!)

This is definitely one family tradition that I will continue for many years!